Last night I had a real doozy of an anxiety dream and it made me think of some others I’ve had in recent years.
In last night’s dream, I was teaching the core majors class I teach every semester. This semester is the 6th time I’ve taught it so it’s getting pretty dialed in. But in this dream, the chairs had been removed from the lecture hall and replaced with couches, so my students were all lounging while I was standing at the front teaching, and the stadium-style seating was gone so the people in the back couldn’t really see. Then, half way through the class/dream, my science class morphed into a swimming class. I started the class off with some really terrible jokes that were not even remotely funny, and then heard people coming in the door behind me (a different, new door that apparently lead out from the locker room). I’d forgotten I was being observed. And the observer was….my 92 year-old grandmother.
My grandmother settled herself down on a bench and I realized that if I was going to teach the day’s lesson well I was going to have to get in the pool and demonstrate, and I hadn’t shaved my armpits in like a month.
Mercilessly, I woke up before actually having to get in the pool.
Whenever I think about anxiety dreams I wind up thinking back to pregnancy. The strangest dreams of my life occurred during that first trimester.
(Possible trigger warning for fears of pregnancy loss)
I was so worried about miscarriage through most of my pregnancy, but especially during the first trimester. One of the clearest pregnancy symptoms I had was crazy dreams, and the other was extreme fatigue, which lead to lots of dreams. Throughout that whole trimester I had a recurring dream that I lost the pregnancy and would find a creepy little plastic baby randomly in different places. Just dreadful.
I’m not sure what exactly is causing this latest string of anxiety dreams, maybe it’s just the new semester. Whatever it is, I hope it stops soon.